Crazy things happen to me!

I apologize for the language....but there was A SNAKE IN MY KITCHEN!!! Oh...and a question...do bullets richocet off ceramic tile? Here is how it started. I went into my laundry room to get a jacket...when i slipped it on my arm....this guy fell out the arm hole. Then the mayhem ensued... I tried to hit it with a sledge hammer. I tried to sweep it out the door. I tried to let it crawl into a urinal...don't ask why I have one of those. It didn't work..so I called Kevin. He laughed at me...LAUGHED! I could not kill it with the shovel....ya know they wiggle when ya touch them...and that really creeps me out! So this is what Penelope and I did! Only me!