Friday, February 18, 2011

Adorkable Penelope

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Grown up?

Are we ever grown ups?  Do you remember being a child and thinking your parents were grown up?  Do you reach a certain age and then you are a grown up?  I guess I should outline my problem....I am not sure I am grown up yet?  I am 34 years old.  I am married.  I have 3 daughters.  I have a good job.  Does any of this make me grown up.  I don't feel grown up...I don't feel finished.  I still have goals.  I am back in school working on two bachelor's degrees.  After I finish those, I will be moving on to a Master's Degree.  These goals of mine may take a long time to finish.  I think this makes me unfinished.  I may not grow up until I am over 40.  Oh Gosh- 40 seriously...that's only 6 years away...well really 5 years and 4 months. 

Small heart attack just occurred.  I was just wondering does anyone else feel like that haven't grown up yet?  When I was a child I pictured my parents as grown that I am that age I still have questions.  I am still figuring out how to navigate through life.  How to make the best decisions for my children, my family, and myself.  I am not sure I want to be grown up....I am pretty happy in my current state.  My current state is still a transformation that is taking place, I guess you could say I am evolving.  Who know what I will be when I grow up.  I plan on moving up and on to better places.  I want to make my mark in this world and leave a lasting impression on all the people I know.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Live Like You Were Living....Not Like You Were Dying.

This morning on my way to work I passed an accident.  A car and an SUV with severe damage.  I thought ...that one looks bad.  EMS, Fire, and PD were already there.  I kept going and grabbed a CD I burned a couple of years ago.  It just said Christie's music.  I skipped the first 12 songs...old stuff....wasn't really interested in Black Eyed Peas...then I came to "Live like you were dying" by Tim McGraw.  As soon as the song started playing I got a text from the TV station, that said "Two killed in collision on Hwy 62".  Odd coincidence...made me feel wierd, and made me think. 

The theme of the song is a guy finds out he is going to die so he goes out and lives like he was dying.  He skydives, rides a bull, and climbs a mountain.  He pays more attention to his family and friends.  So here are my thoughts.  I want to live like I am living....not so much like I'm dying.  I think of dying as a sudden event or wasting away in a hospital bed in the back room of house.  If we all lived like we were living all things would go better.  If you made sure everyday that you told everyone you loved them.  That you truly were the wife/husband you should be.  That you were truly there for your children.  That you still talked to your parents and told them that you love them.  That you still told your brothers and sisters that you love them.  That you give all that you are into everyday that goes by....Then you Live like you were living!!!

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Five Stages of Grief

A new leaf....or My road to prison!

Amidst all the New Year's Resolutions I try to dodge the inevitable question of what is your resolution.  I refuse to make resolutions...I try to be "good" all year long.  I pride myself on making good decisions and traveling through life without many bumps in the road.  This has worked for me very well over the years.  However this year I made a resolution. I am going to quit smoking.  Yes, I will...I am committed-there is no turning back. 

I started smoking when I was 16 years old...because of a boy on a skateboard! 

I remember my first cigarette.  My mom had gone to town for groceries and I stole one of her cigarettes. Now, I had "smoked" before with this boy.  One thing I did not know was the difference between inhaling and faking it.  I was about to find out.  So, as I sat there on our front porch smoking my cigarette and not realizing I was doing it wrong- in the distance what do I hear....oh its a car coming down the road.  Now my mom was not due home for quite some time so I should have been safe.  But was Mom.  You know the moment that you realize things have gone horribly awry and you suck in your breath really deep in your lungs....yeah that moment.  Well I did that...I think of it now as a Power Inhale!  I threw down the cigarette and hopped up to my feet.  About this time half of my world became darker and swirly.  I had to make it to my bedroom before she got to me.  It was only about 10 feet between me and the door but by the time I could reach it all I could see through my dimming vision was the bottom half of the door.  For those of you who don't smoke- the first time you inhale will damn near make you pass out.  

Back to the story- I turned the knob as my mom says Oh..honey did you fall.  I manage an answer- No just tripped and beat feet to my room.  That was my first time.  After that experience I am not sure why I kept smoking....probably something to do with looking cool.  That was 20 years ago.  Wow-what a long time.  To say that I have been smoking for 20 years scares me.  Soon I will be able to say I quit smoking after 20 years!  That will be awesome.  My kids will be proud of me too.  They know the dangers of smoking and never fail to let me know.  This is one resolution I plan on keeping.  Now some warnings.  I would avoid me...say for the next two weeks.  I may be in a less than pleasant mood.   The Nicotine monster will be affecting my behavior as well and not so for much for the benefit of your health!!  I wish you all luck in this little game of Survivor Christie! 

With that being said, soon all of you will see a new me....or you will all have to come and visit me in prison because the Nicotine Monster made me kill some one.  I really don't think I would do well in prison.